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MALE VS. FEMALE AT THE ATM MACHINE

                   

                          MALE VS. FEMALE AT THE ATM MACHINE

                          A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads:


                          'Please note that this Bank is installing new
                          Drive-through ATM machines enabling
                          customers to withdraw cash without leaving
                          their vehicles.


                          Customers using this new facility are
                          requested to use the procedures outlined
                          below when accessing their accounts.


                          After months of careful research,
                          MALE & FEMALE Procedures have been
                          developed.
                          Please follow the Appropriate steps for
                          your gender.'

                          *******************************
                          MALE PROCEDURE:
                          1. Drive up to the cash machine.
                          2. Put down your car window. < /SPAN>
                          3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
                          4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
                          5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
                          6. Put window up.
                          7. Drive off.


                          *******************************


                          FEMALE PROCEDURE:
                          Unfortunately, most of this part
                          is the Truth.!!!!


                          1. Drive up to cash machine.
                          2. Reverse and back up the required
                          amount to align car window with the machine.
                          3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
                          4. Find handbag, remove all contents on
                          to passenger seat to locate card.
                          5. Tell person on cell phone you will call
                          them back and hang up.
                          6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
                          7. Open car door to allow easier access
                          to machine due to its excessive distance
                          from the car.
                          8. Insert card.
                          9. Re-insert card the right way.
                          10. Dig through handbag to find diary
                          with your PIN written on the inside
                          back page.
                          11. Enter PIN.
                          12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
                          13. Enter amount of cash required.
                          14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
                          15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
                          16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet
                          and place cash inside.
                          17. Write debit amount in check register
                          and place receipt in back of checkbook.
                          18. Re-check makeup.
                          19. Drive forward 2 feet.
                          20. Reverse back to cash machine.
                          21. Retrieve card.
                          22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder,
                          and place card into the slot provided!
                          23. Give dirty look to irate male driver
                          waiting behind you.
                          24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
                          25. Redial person on cell phone.
                          26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
                          27. Release Parking Brake.


                          SEND THIS TO A MAN WHO
                          NEEDS A LAUGH AND TO
                          THE LADIES YOU THINK
                          CAN HANDLE IT!



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